I decided to place my daughter for adoption because I already had twins and they would have been one year apart from my daughter. I didn't think I could do it, on top of being in an abusive relationship with their father. There was just no way I could handle the stress of another baby at the time. I am so incredibly thankful that I found the PERFECT family for my daughter.
What were your concerns going into the adoption process?
My concerns were that I might not find the "right" family for my baby and that I would maybe change my mind.
What helped ease your concerns while going through the adoption process?
I was fortunate to have had the support of my mother, who actually adopted me. Also the amazing family who adopted my baby were there for me every second of the process, and still are to this day!
What were you looking for in an adoptive family, and what made you choose the family you did?
I was looking for a family who felt right. A family that I clicked with and who I knew without a doubt I could trust to keep an open adoption. Kristen and Justin have been that family. They always send me pictures of our daughter, Wren, and they send me videos and texts with updates on how she's growing and changing. They share many of my parenting styles and they are involved in church. But most of all, my daughter’s parents are the most caring family I could have asked for and more. They are beyond what I had dreamt of for my baby.
How did your baby's adoptive family help you through the adoption process?
My daughter's family helped me throughout the process by providing me with maternity clothing, paying my daughter's medical bills when she was born, and helping me so much emotionally with all of the hardship I was going through during my pregnancy. Kristen and Justin are so understanding and genuinely care about my daughter, my other children, and me. I couldn't have asked for more.
What type of adoption did you choose, and why?
Together, my daughter's parents and I chose a very open adoption. We all believe this is what is best for Wren, and I am so glad we all agreed on that. It is extremely important to me to maintain a relationship with my daughter and a relationship with her parents, as well as their son and their extended family. They treat me like family and acknowledge that Wren is also my daughter, which means the entire world to me.
Describe your thoughts and emotions before and after the baby's birth.
My thoughts before Wren's birth were peaceful towards the adoption. Of course there were some second thoughts and second guessing, and when she was born it was very emotional for me. I am so happy that our contact remains open because without that it would be hard to cope. Adoption isn't easy, but it was so worth it to give my baby the best life I could, the life she deserves.
What are you looking forward to now that the adoption process is completed?
I'm looking forward to many trips to see her and her family, seeing pictures, writing her letters, and sending her things. I love that her family is so inclusive of me and makes me feel like I will be a part of her life forever.
What advice would you give to other pregnant women who are considering adoption?
My best advice is to make sure this is what you want and make sure you feel right with the family. The family you choose should be receptive to how you feel, too, not just how they feel. To anyone considering adoption: this is such a selfless decision. It is a pure act of love. Do not feel ashamed. You are wonderful.
