I considered adoption because I wasn't financially stable, although I had a job, I already had three children who were pretty young in age. I didn't really have any family of my own and the birthfather’s parents were judgmental of everything we did, so we kept the pregnancy a secret from them as well as everyone. I contacted an adoption agency after searching the internet. I went through a lot of adoption agencies and I felt this one suited me the best. I was very nervous and had lots of questions, but they were always there to answer all of them, even late nights via email or text.
I had to rely on myself mostly to be my support team as well as the adoptive parents who always seemed to be there for me, which helped comfort me.
I chose my adoptive parents because they had the same interests as me and also because I knew the baby wouldn't struggle with them. Their story was also sad because they couldn’t have children of their own, so I felt I could help them with a child as they can help me by taking care of my unborn. When I received the first email from them I was surprised they wrote back and also nervous because what if they didn’t like me? As time grew and we began writing each other more and more, conversations with them just grew easier and easier.
I felt throughout the entire adoption the hardest part was trying to accept that the baby wouldn’t be close enough for me to visit, so the letting go stage after birth really affected me. The best part of the adoption process was the adoptive parents because they're understanding, and always there for me when I need them. Since then everything has went back to normal and I feel at ease with my adoption process. My relationship with my adoptive family is great. We talk very often and send each other things, so I couldn’t be happier.
My advice to future birthmothers is don't feel like you’re being pressured into doing anything. The ultimate decision is yours, although it may seem hard, it’s for the better. I had to rely on my own strength to go forward and do the adoption, and you can do it too.
