I decided to place my son for adoption because I already had a two-and-a-half-year-old little girl, no job, and no car. I was struggling to make ends meet. I wanted to better my life. I wanted to give the best life possible to both of those children. So after pushing it off and thinking everything would be fine, I looked into the eyes of my little girl, felt my birth son kicking, and just knew the life I was living wasn't what I wanted. I chose adoption for a better life for my daughter and my birth son.
What were your concerns going into the adoption process?
My concerns were that everyone would judge me. I was so scared everyone would be like, if you couldn't raise them both then why didn't you place your daughter up as well, or how could you give someone your child. Another concern was I would never be able to see him again. The adoptive family reassures me of that almost weekly with photos.
What helped ease your concerns while going through the adoption process?
The thing that eased me most was meeting the adoptive parents. They made me feel so welcome and loved already and we didn't even have anything set in stone yet. After having my birth son, seeing him in their arms was so heartwarming and I knew it was right.
What were you looking for in an adoptive family?
I was looking for people who seemed genuinely happy, very family oriented, and most importantly people who wanted nothing more than to have a baby.
How did your baby's adoptive family help you through the adoption process?
They always made sure I was okay, never made me feel pressured to go through with my choice, and were so loving of me and my daughter. They even mentioned she would always be his big sister.
What type of adoption did you choose, and why?
I chose open. I want my daughter to know her brother whether I raise him or not. I want to be active in my birth son’s life. Even though I couldn't raise him because I struggled financially, I still wanted to be able to be a part of his.
Describe your thoughts and emotions before and after the baby's birth.
My thoughts and emotions before were terrible. I thought I wasn't going to go through with it. I thought I would be so depressed. I honestly thought my world was going to end. After having my birth son, I saw the looks on the adoptive parents faces. I knew it was right. I held him, they held him, it felt right. Everything was meant to happen. It was never random.
What are you looking forward to now that the adoption process is completed?
I'm looking forward to seeing my birth son in the future and seeing what he becomes. I just know he's going to do amazing things in his life. I am also looking forward to seeing the adoptive parents and how they excel in parenting. They were unable to conceive naturally and I just can't wait to see how they're doing now that they have their own child.
What advice would you give to other pregnant women who are considering adoption?
If your heart is telling you to do something, listen. You will know if the choice you're making is right or not. They will always be our children, a moment in our arms but forever in our heart. Don't think you gave that child away, you placed them in loving arms, from loving arms.